1) I could over emphasize the intelligence of a person receiving a baccalaureate degree. I could eliminate all excess sentences which would focus more on the topic rather than rambling on just about the word intelligence.
(looking up facts to help over emphasize the intelligence of a person receiving a baccalaureate degree.) Too many times does the typical english paper ramble on about excess sentences so that the person can add a few extra lines to the length.
2) Original: "However, when it comes to achieving an actual degree, one is expected to have a certain degree of intelligence."
Remake: "However, when it comes to achieving or gaining an actual baccalaureate degree, one is expected to have a certain degree of intelligence which could be presented in different aspects."
3) Original: "Being intelligent can mean many different things to different people and also bring up many questions such as what is that person intelligent in. Intelligent as defined by Merriam Webster means “Having or indicating a high satisfactory degree of intelligence and mental capacity”. Whereas my definition of the word intelligent is one who is thoroughly knowledged in his or her specific area. One who may seem intelligent to me may not necessarily seem intelligent to someone else based on the differences in our definitions."
Remake: "Being intelligent can mean many different things to different people and also bring up many questions such as what is that person intelligent in. Intelligent as defined by Merriam Webster means “Having or indicating a high satisfactory degree of intelligence and mental capacity”. Whereas my definition of the word intelligent is one who is thoroughly knowledged in his or her specific area. One who may seem intelligent to me may not necessarily seem intelligent to someone else based on the differences in our definitions. However, in today's institutes of education, more and more students are being educated in all amounts of all fields instead of large amounts of one field. This of course, in agreement with the Baccalaureate Degree, will add to the consensus that people do not have to specialize in one specific area in order to attain the degree. This is an example that the public has too much information in general studies and not enough education to help them become active contributors to the world."
4) Only rebuttal to be entered into next draft:
Coming from the college student who has no specific career choice, the Baccalaureate Degree is the easiest thing to obtain. Basically, all that is required is to schedule classes for a General Studies degree and follow the required classes, which is basically core classes and extracurriculars. Most of these classes allow you to pass just by attending the class. For this reason, high levels of intelligence are not required to attain a Baccalaureate Degree, only the willpower to attend the classes
